bugs

do you guys ever have this thing, that you think is super super cute, but are really afraid of it at the same time?
yeah, that's me with bugs. worst thing is, i have no idea why.
i really like bugs, especially fuzzy caterpillars. but i am also deathly scared of them. i feel really guilty for that.
one of my favourite bugs is gondal, (read. pyrrharctia isabella) he is a very beautiful fuzzy bug. however, if i saw him in real life, i'd probably keep my distance. i'm pretty sure he doesn't bite, but still, something about him makes me really scared. i am very upset about that, because it probably must hurt if someone likes you but is too scared to come close to you.
i tried looking up fuzzy bugs that are in poland, and however i loved them all, i nearly cried from fear when looking at them. why does this happen? i love the little guys so much. so why do i get this horrible urge to cry when i see them? i'm sorry little ones. i wish i wasn't like this.

names

sometimes I come across people with names of people I used to know. it's a horrible feeling. I try to ignore it, but it's always in the back of my mind.
I don't know why it is like this. they're just names, so why do I associate them with people? there's millions of humans on the world that have the same exact name, I shouldn't do that. of course I'm gonna see people with those names often, it's only natural.
but I still can't shake off that uneasy feeling when I see it. every single time.
my brain tries to convince me that it's those people who I knew. it always feels like them. it's upsetting.
especially the name Aaron.